Rambles

I’m looking forward to the summer. I need warmer weather in my life and a tan would be lovely.

I’m focused on better things today. I’m loving my reflection and I feel fortunate to be alive and well.

I’m learning about self-love in ways I was blind to as a young girl.

I’m cultivating thankfulness regardless of the motions.

I’m appreciating all things.

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Worth

We cannot change people. Please stop breaking your own heart and wait for the person who will value you. Toxicity is not what you were created for.

Run on

My mind is everywhere… literally. I’m always thinking about something. I’m scatterbrained even as I chase around a curious toddler but every now and then (naptime) I decide to let the world into my head.

Today I’ve been thinking a lot about success. I’m still trying to figure out what it means to me without letting society’s definition make me feel like a terribly unproductive human being. In certain areas of my life I believe I am succeeding and then those thoughts (always the mind) recall the other areas of my life where I have yet to even taste it.

Life is tricky and I’m just trying to get a hold of this one opportunity.

What is success for you?

Life

It’s a beautiful Tuesday morning. Renzo and I slept just a little longer than usual and my coffee is made to perfection. I feel incredibly blessed and honestly, that doesn’t come as easily as you would think it should.

As I was making my coffee I decided it was time to unplug from social media once again. I realize that as much as I would like to build my following and get my writing out into the world, my discontent and social media go hand in hand way too often.

They say nothing is ever what it seems and in my twenty eight years of life I have found that to be extremely true. However, the internet makes that truth so easy to forget. If we’re not careful, we’ll find ourselves TOO focused on the lives of others and not living to OUR fullest potential. Social media can consume you to the point that you aren’t present for all God is doing for YOU.

I may not have what the next person has but I am provided for and I don’t ever want to disregard my blessings all because they don’t LOOK like that of someone else.

While trying to figure out how to end this post, Renzo handed me a book to read to him. I stepped away and tended to my mommy duties. What he doesn’t know is I bought that book for him while he was still growing in my belly. Here he is now, in all his toddler glory and that is a complete miracle- MY miracle.

This is MY life- journeying through motherhood, faith, and loss. It’s a tiring trek at times but it’s mine and I want to not only remain present but also grateful.

My heart behind this post is to simply remind you of your life in a world that will constantly steer you in a different direction.

Stay present.

Stay grateful.

Great love 

Faith is a journey and sometimes it’s a difficult one but it is what remains when everything seems lost. Today I am thankful for my faith. I am thankful that God still speaks to me and shows great love towards me. What are you thankful for? 

My Angel

Today marks two weeks since my grandmother’s passing. Needless to say, it’s been a shitty time for my family and I. She was the glue that kept my family together so losing her was a complete life change for all of us. Positive energy has been far from me and today I just said “Fuck it” (though my grandmother wouldn’t approve) and opened my laptop to write.

I feel better already because writing truly is a form of therapy. If you find yourself stuck in your head and you feel so overwhelmed, please write. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. It doesn’t matter if it even makes sense. Just let out all the shit that is hurting you and affecting your quality of life.

I miss my grandma dearly. I know she would want nothing more than for me to be happy but lately it has been difficult. And it’s so easy to lose yourself in the wrong things/people when you don’t feel happy. So here I am trying to keep my head above the water.

As winter turns to spring and spring into summer, they show us that nothing lasts. The bitter cold will eventually be the scorching heat and so it goes with life. I know this season will not be forever. The memory of my beautiful grandmother will stay alive with me and my son but this gray cloud will pass. Happiness will be found. It has to be found.

The night before my grandmother’s burial I wrote her a letter because I felt there was so much I needed to say to her that I didn’t get the chance to. I hope she had the opportunity to read it and I hope she knows that I love her so very much.

R.I.P Ruth Maria Alago

Forever in my heart.

 

 

53

Today is a special day.

Happy Anniversary to my grandparents… 53 years down and forever more to go.

I am thankful for them and so proud to be their granddaughter. Whatever these next few months may hold, of two things I’m sure: they love God and God loves them.