It’s a beautiful Tuesday morning. Renzo and I slept just a little longer than usual and my coffee is made to perfection. I feel incredibly blessed and honestly, that doesn’t come as easily as you would think it should.

As I was making my coffee I decided it was time to unplug from social media once again. I realize that as much as I would like to build my following and get my writing out into the world, my discontent and social media go hand in hand way too often.

They say nothing is ever what it seems and in my twenty eight years of life I have found that to be extremely true. However, the internet makes that truth so easy to forget. If we’re not careful, we’ll find ourselves TOO focused on the lives of others and not living to OUR fullest potential. Social media can consume you to the point that you aren’t present for all God is doing for YOU.

I may not have what the next person has but I am provided for and I don’t ever want to disregard my blessings all because they don’t LOOK like that of someone else.

While trying to figure out how to end this post, Renzo handed me a book to read to him. I stepped away and tended to my mommy duties. What he doesn’t know is I bought that book for him while he was still growing in my belly. Here he is now, in all his toddler glory and that is a complete miracle- MY miracle.

This is MY life- journeying through motherhood, faith, and loss. It’s a tiring trek at times but it’s mine and I want to not only remain present but also grateful.

My heart behind this post is to simply remind you of your life in a world that will constantly steer you in a different direction.

Stay present.

Stay grateful.


Quotes on quotes

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.”  -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Saturday!

It takes a village.

If you took a moment to read into my posts about my son, you could quickly decipher how protective I am of him. Before I even knew I was having a boy, I felt deeply compelled to guard my child by all means.

I was facing a lot of issues externally and internally during my pregnancy. I spent a lot of time alone, just my baby and I. Failure and shame followed me daily and I fought so hard to keep them from consuming me. If they ate me up, my child would reap the disaster they caused. I felt it was completely up to me to raise Renzo and so when he was born, my thoughts came to life too.

There’s a well known quote that says “It takes a village to raise a child.” and that quote bothered me beyond words. I didn’t want not one person trying to take credit for the work I would ultimately put in as a single mom. All the problems I had been dealing with were creating these mean, isolated, prideful thought patterns- keeping me from taking anyone’s advice.

It takes a village to raise a child.

It takes a village to raise a child.

It takes a village to raise a child.

It followed me everywhere. I heard it everywhere. I did not understand it and I didn’t want to because I thought it was going to take away from my role as a mother.

I would be lying if I told you I completely get it now. What I can say is that I am no longer running from it. The things I know, I can teach him. However, I don’t know everything and there are other people who he can AND should learn from. My fears will only hold Renzo back from all the growth that comes with new experiences.

There are so many ways to be a toxic parent if you’re not careful and I am learning that now.


I believe life can change in an instant.

I believe anyone could wake up and choose to be different.

I believe someone can change if they truly want to.

I believe it’s a gift that we can let go of the person we despised being, to be the person we always prayed to be.

Don’t let anyone label you.

Become the person you want to be, regardless of what it takes to get there.


Great love 

Faith is a journey and sometimes it’s a difficult one but it is what remains when everything seems lost. Today I am thankful for my faith. I am thankful that God still speaks to me and shows great love towards me. What are you thankful for? 

Mother’s Day thoughts 

I found myself saying that I couldn’t wait for my son to grow up and last night I asked him to forgive me. As I held him in my arms and fed him his milk, I didn’t want to imagine the day he would be okay on his own. This little human shines a beautiful, bright light during the darkest of nights and I want to have that forever. I pray to somehow have that forever, even when he’s okay on his own. I truly am grateful to be a mom. I stepped into motherhood unprepared yet God handed me a gem. I feel undeserving of such a child but here I am, writing in deep gratitude for the one I’ve got. 

I love you Renzo. You make me proud and you’re only 8 months old. I can’t wait to see everything you achieve in this life but I will pause right here, while I can and enjoy you as my little baby…

Being a mom is beautiful. 

Life is beautiful.

Today I knew I wanted to acknowledge the beauty of life. It is a gift. I look at my sleeping son and I can’t help but feel incredibly fortunate. No matter what goes on in my life, I have this amazing little human being that makes life worth living. When he smiles, my heart leaps. The beauty of life takes its form in my son. Maybe you can’t relate to that but you have your own reasons. Embrace them and don’t ever let anyone or anything keep you from feeling absolutely blessed.


My Angel

Today marks two weeks since my grandmother’s passing. Needless to say, it’s been a shitty time for my family and I. She was the glue that kept my family together so losing her was a complete life change for all of us. Positive energy has been far from me and today I just said “Fuck it” (though my grandmother wouldn’t approve) and opened my laptop to write.

I feel better already because writing truly is a form of therapy. If you find yourself stuck in your head and you feel so overwhelmed, please write. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. It doesn’t matter if it even makes sense. Just let out all the shit that is hurting you and affecting your quality of life.

I miss my grandma dearly. I know she would want nothing more than for me to be happy but lately it has been difficult. And it’s so easy to lose yourself in the wrong things/people when you don’t feel happy. So here I am trying to keep my head above the water.

As winter turns to spring and spring into summer, they show us that nothing lasts. The bitter cold will eventually be the scorching heat and so it goes with life. I know this season will not be forever. The memory of my beautiful grandmother will stay alive with me and my son but this gray cloud will pass. Happiness will be found. It has to be found.

The night before my grandmother’s burial I wrote her a letter because I felt there was so much I needed to say to her that I didn’t get the chance to. I hope she had the opportunity to read it and I hope she knows that I love her so very much.

R.I.P Ruth Maria Alago

Forever in my heart.