We all have things we should improve on. Then there are those qualities about you that they aren’t meant to love because someone else is. I’m finally understanding the difference between the two. I was trying to love a man who could never love me. A man who wanted to improve on things that simply make me, me.
Faith is a journey and sometimes it’s a difficult one but it is what remains when everything seems lost. Today I am thankful for my faith. I am thankful that God still speaks to me and shows great love towards me. What are you thankful for?
I found myself saying that I couldn’t wait for my son to grow up and last night I asked him to forgive me. As I held him in my arms and fed him his milk, I didn’t want to imagine the day he would be okay on his own. This little human shines a beautiful, bright light during the darkest of nights and I want to have that forever. I pray to somehow have that forever, even when he’s okay on his own. I truly am grateful to be a mom. I stepped into motherhood unprepared yet God handed me a gem. I feel undeserving of such a child but here I am, writing in deep gratitude for the one I’ve got.
I love you Renzo. You make me proud and you’re only 8 months old. I can’t wait to see everything you achieve in this life but I will pause right here, while I can and enjoy you as my little baby…
Being a mom is beautiful.
Do not lower yourself to people who refuse to grow higher. If you don’t love yourself, you’ll continue to chase people who don’t love you either.
Today marks two weeks since my grandmother’s passing. Needless to say, it’s been a shitty time for my family and I. She was the glue that kept my family together so losing her was a complete life change for all of us. Positive energy has been far from me and today I just said “Fuck it” (though my grandmother wouldn’t approve) and opened my laptop to write.
I feel better already because writing truly is a form of therapy. If you find yourself stuck in your head and you feel so overwhelmed, please write. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. It doesn’t matter if it even makes sense. Just let out all the shit that is hurting you and affecting your quality of life.
I miss my grandma dearly. I know she would want nothing more than for me to be happy but lately it has been difficult. And it’s so easy to lose yourself in the wrong things/people when you don’t feel happy. So here I am trying to keep my head above the water.
As winter turns to spring and spring into summer, they show us that nothing lasts. The bitter cold will eventually be the scorching heat and so it goes with life. I know this season will not be forever. The memory of my beautiful grandmother will stay alive with me and my son but this gray cloud will pass. Happiness will be found. It has to be found.
The night before my grandmother’s burial I wrote her a letter because I felt there was so much I needed to say to her that I didn’t get the chance to. I hope she had the opportunity to read it and I hope she knows that I love her so very much.
R.I.P Ruth Maria Alago
Forever in my heart.
Today is a special day.
Happy Anniversary to my grandparents… 53 years down and forever more to go.
I am thankful for them and so proud to be their granddaughter. Whatever these next few months may hold, of two things I’m sure: they love God and God loves them.
“There are too many mediocre things in life; love shouldn’t be one of them.”
Taking in the scent and warmth
Good morning WordPress
We all have our own lives, our own journeys. I’m simply trying to embrace mine no matter what it looks like. Some of it I love and other parts hurt my heart so bad. All in all, I am thankful for God’s comfort during a time where it is extremely needed but very undeserved.
I am excited to soon welcome my baby into the world. I think about he or she every single day. The desire to protect your baby at all times begins pretty early. I don’t even have him or her in my arms and I’m always ready to be a safe haven for my baby.
No one is going to make my child feel unwanted. No one is going to treat him or her as if they don’t matter in this life. My baby will know true love. My baby will know God. My baby will know happiness. My baby will know peace. My baby will know what it’s like to have a real family.
My child will know security and loyalty the very moment we make eye contact.
My child is the light in my life. I pray protection and a covering from the Lord every day. I need my child as much as he or she needs me.
My child keeps me aware of my journey. My child is already teaching me to embrace all that is mine for this time on Earth. I don’t own a thing- my heart knows that full well. But while I am here, I will embrace my life. I will love my journey. God has been good to me and I have to believe that greater things are coming, no matter how life looks right now.
Dated: Feb. 14, 2016