Mother’s Day thoughts 

I found myself saying that I couldn’t wait for my son to grow up and last night I asked him to forgive me. As I held him in my arms and fed him his milk, I didn’t want to imagine the day he would be okay on his own. This little human shines a beautiful, bright light during the darkest of nights and I want to have that forever. I pray to somehow have that forever, even when he’s okay on his own. I truly am grateful to be a mom. I stepped into motherhood unprepared yet God handed me a gem. I feel undeserving of such a child but here I am, writing in deep gratitude for the one I’ve got. 

I love you Renzo. You make me proud and you’re only 8 months old. I can’t wait to see everything you achieve in this life but I will pause right here, while I can and enjoy you as my little baby…

Being a mom is beautiful. 

Life is beautiful.

Today I knew I wanted to acknowledge the beauty of life. It is a gift. I look at my sleeping son and I can’t help but feel incredibly fortunate. No matter what goes on in my life, I have this amazing little human being that makes life worth living. When he smiles, my heart leaps. The beauty of life takes its form in my son. Maybe you can’t relate to that but you have your own reasons. Embrace them and don’t ever let anyone or anything keep you from feeling absolutely blessed.

 

REWIND 01

We all have our own lives, our own journeys. I’m simply trying to embrace mine no matter what it looks like. Some of it I love and other parts hurt my heart so bad. All in all, I am thankful for God’s comfort during a time where it is extremely needed but very undeserved.

I am excited to soon welcome my baby into the world. I think about he or she every single day. The desire to protect your baby at all times begins pretty early. I don’t even have him or her in my arms and I’m always ready to be a safe haven for my baby.

No one is going to make my child feel unwanted. No one is going to treat him or her as if they don’t matter  in this life. My baby will know true love. My baby will know God. My baby will know happiness. My baby will know peace. My baby will know what it’s like to have a real family.

My child will know security and loyalty the very moment we make eye contact.

My child is the light in my life. I pray protection and a covering from the Lord every day. I need my child as much as he or she needs me.

My child keeps me aware of my journey. My child is already teaching me to embrace all that is mine for this time on Earth. I don’t own a thing- my heart knows that full well. But while I am here, I will embrace my life. I will love my journey. God has been good to me and I have to believe that greater things are coming, no matter how life looks right now.

Dated: Feb. 14, 2016