It’s a beautiful Tuesday morning. Renzo and I slept just a little longer than usual and my coffee is made to perfection. I feel incredibly blessed and honestly, that doesn’t come as easily as you would think it should.

As I was making my coffee I decided it was time to unplug from social media once again. I realize that as much as I would like to build my following and get my writing out into the world, my discontent and social media go hand in hand way too often.

They say nothing is ever what it seems and in my twenty eight years of life I have found that to be extremely true. However, the internet makes that truth so easy to forget. If we’re not careful, we’ll find ourselves TOO focused on the lives of others and not living to OUR fullest potential. Social media can consume you to the point that you aren’t present for all God is doing for YOU.

I may not have what the next person has but I am provided for and I don’t ever want to disregard my blessings all because they don’t LOOK like that of someone else.

While trying to figure out how to end this post, Renzo handed me a book to read to him. I stepped away and tended to my mommy duties. What he doesn’t know is I bought that book for him while he was still growing in my belly. Here he is now, in all his toddler glory and that is a complete miracle- MY miracle.

This is MY life- journeying through motherhood, faith, and loss. It’s a tiring trek at times but it’s mine and I want to not only remain present but also grateful.

My heart behind this post is to simply remind you of your life in a world that will constantly steer you in a different direction.

Stay present.

Stay grateful.


It takes a village.

If you took a moment to read into my posts about my son, you could quickly decipher how protective I am of him. Before I even knew I was having a boy, I felt deeply compelled to guard my child by all means.

I was facing a lot of issues externally and internally during my pregnancy. I spent a lot of time alone, just my baby and I. Failure and shame followed me daily and I fought so hard to keep them from consuming me. If they ate me up, my child would reap the disaster they caused. I felt it was completely up to me to raise Renzo and so when he was born, my thoughts came to life too.

There’s a well known quote that says “It takes a village to raise a child.” and that quote bothered me beyond words. I didn’t want not one person trying to take credit for the work I would ultimately put in as a single mom. All the problems I had been dealing with were creating these mean, isolated, prideful thought patterns- keeping me from taking anyone’s advice.

It takes a village to raise a child.

It takes a village to raise a child.

It takes a village to raise a child.

It followed me everywhere. I heard it everywhere. I did not understand it and I didn’t want to because I thought it was going to take away from my role as a mother.

I would be lying if I told you I completely get it now. What I can say is that I am no longer running from it. The things I know, I can teach him. However, I don’t know everything and there are other people who he can AND should learn from. My fears will only hold Renzo back from all the growth that comes with new experiences.

There are so many ways to be a toxic parent if you’re not careful and I am learning that now.

Great love 

Faith is a journey and sometimes it’s a difficult one but it is what remains when everything seems lost. Today I am thankful for my faith. I am thankful that God still speaks to me and shows great love towards me. What are you thankful for? 

Mother’s Day thoughts 

I found myself saying that I couldn’t wait for my son to grow up and last night I asked him to forgive me. As I held him in my arms and fed him his milk, I didn’t want to imagine the day he would be okay on his own. This little human shines a beautiful, bright light during the darkest of nights and I want to have that forever. I pray to somehow have that forever, even when he’s okay on his own. I truly am grateful to be a mom. I stepped into motherhood unprepared yet God handed me a gem. I feel undeserving of such a child but here I am, writing in deep gratitude for the one I’ve got. 

I love you Renzo. You make me proud and you’re only 8 months old. I can’t wait to see everything you achieve in this life but I will pause right here, while I can and enjoy you as my little baby…

Being a mom is beautiful. 

Life is beautiful.

Today I knew I wanted to acknowledge the beauty of life. It is a gift. I look at my sleeping son and I can’t help but feel incredibly fortunate. No matter what goes on in my life, I have this amazing little human being that makes life worth living. When he smiles, my heart leaps. The beauty of life takes its form in my son. Maybe you can’t relate to that but you have your own reasons. Embrace them and don’t ever let anyone or anything keep you from feeling absolutely blessed.



We all have our own lives, our own journeys. I’m simply trying to embrace mine no matter what it looks like. Some of it I love and other parts hurt my heart so bad. All in all, I am thankful for God’s comfort during a time where it is extremely needed but very undeserved.

I am excited to soon welcome my baby into the world. I think about he or she every single day. The desire to protect your baby at all times begins pretty early. I don’t even have him or her in my arms and I’m always ready to be a safe haven for my baby.

No one is going to make my child feel unwanted. No one is going to treat him or her as if they don’t matter  in this life. My baby will know true love. My baby will know God. My baby will know happiness. My baby will know peace. My baby will know what it’s like to have a real family.

My child will know security and loyalty the very moment we make eye contact.

My child is the light in my life. I pray protection and a covering from the Lord every day. I need my child as much as he or she needs me.

My child keeps me aware of my journey. My child is already teaching me to embrace all that is mine for this time on Earth. I don’t own a thing- my heart knows that full well. But while I am here, I will embrace my life. I will love my journey. God has been good to me and I have to believe that greater things are coming, no matter how life looks right now.

Dated: Feb. 14, 2016