Cotton candy skies 

I don’t think the world is evil but I believe the people around the entire world need help and guidance. I have seen many vibrant colors in an evening sky. I have also seen death because of hatred. 

I can go outside and feel the purity of nature but I can also step outside and greet darkness. 

I feel so blessed to live on Earth 

And yet damned by the swiftness of time. 

How can I feel these thoughts all at once? I am happy and yet sadness quietly lingers. The world brings so much color and yet so much tragedy. 

Some won’t understand it. Closed in their minds of culture and religion. 

But the world- the universe is a gift.

 The seas and the sand, the thunder, the cotton candy skies, the trees, the warmth of the sun on my skin, the raindrops on my window, the bright stars at night, the flow of the seasons… it’s all so very beautiful to me. 

Life on earth and the ways of humanity are what trouble me. I don’t think the world is evil but I believe the people around the entire world need help and guidance. 

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Inspo 

 It’s been 2 months since I’ve posted. Life and a severe case of writer’s block have hit me hard. Motherhood has been a challenge. With my son now walking and refusing to be anywhere else but the floor, my anxiety is on high. I don’t want him to get hurt but I remind myself that it’s all part of the process. Him falling is normal. My worried heart is normal. I’m a first time mom. I think that’s all I have to say to be understood. 

I can’t believe I have a one year old- or a 12 month old if you’re that kind of person. I don’t feel worthy of him. Any other moms feel that way? I look at him walking around, playing, smiling, being the innocent child that he is and it is all so bittersweet. How can I feel uninspired? How can I live unmotivated? 

So today I dedicate this post to my son. Actually, I dedicate this entire blog to you Renzo. You inspire me. You give me the words to say. You give me the motivation. You give me faith. You give me life. Thank you for constantly keeping me on my toes. I’m watching you grow and you’re helping me grow. I love you. 

Here’s to a great Monday and a great week. Keep your eyes on the people and the things that inspire you. 

Mother’s Day thoughts 

I found myself saying that I couldn’t wait for my son to grow up and last night I asked him to forgive me. As I held him in my arms and fed him his milk, I didn’t want to imagine the day he would be okay on his own. This little human shines a beautiful, bright light during the darkest of nights and I want to have that forever. I pray to somehow have that forever, even when he’s okay on his own. I truly am grateful to be a mom. I stepped into motherhood unprepared yet God handed me a gem. I feel undeserving of such a child but here I am, writing in deep gratitude for the one I’ve got. 

I love you Renzo. You make me proud and you’re only 8 months old. I can’t wait to see everything you achieve in this life but I will pause right here, while I can and enjoy you as my little baby…

Being a mom is beautiful. 

Life is beautiful.

Today I knew I wanted to acknowledge the beauty of life. It is a gift. I look at my sleeping son and I can’t help but feel incredibly fortunate. No matter what goes on in my life, I have this amazing little human being that makes life worth living. When he smiles, my heart leaps. The beauty of life takes its form in my son. Maybe you can’t relate to that but you have your own reasons. Embrace them and don’t ever let anyone or anything keep you from feeling absolutely blessed.